2nd Post for Today

What a lazy bum.

I just wanted to blog about some thoughts. Well, I think it's actually inappropriate to "share" the story so I won't name names just so I would not completely destroy other people's privacy.

I was with one of my closest friends yesterday and gahd, I missed her! I don't get to see my friends a lot these days, makes me feel we're not that much friends anymore, you know?

So we were talking and the topic went to how her relationship with her ex, another close friend, is. It saddens me. The way she talked about it sounded so "un-special". I always thought, "Oh they'd get back together. It is just how lovers are. They break up, they come back." They had such a nice relationship, a least for us who saw them when they were together.

And then she told me about how she sees it, how she felt, how she feels. I don't know how she got through it. When I was dealing with ze final break up, I decided to just detach myself completely until a got used to not having that person in my life. And then it was ok, living without her was like an ordinary day. But this friend, she had to go through it spending each day seeing how much they've drifted apart. What a pain to handle right?

And I see she's ok, but exhausted. I don't really know why they ended up like this. Maybe if I hear the other side of the story I'd understand.

On other news, there's another friend who's having relationship problems and I really see myself, a lot of times, in the shoes of her girlfriend. I feel kinda guilty because I'm not being a supportive friend. Maybe it's because when I hear their points and arguments, I just can't help thinking they're not for each other - like how I and my ex were almost a disaster. I know, we're all different people and if it happened to me, it doesn't mean they would have the same fate. So there, I'm not saying much when I get to hear their issues. I just listen. (which is kinda hard cause I'm like forever commenting on things)

For now, I hope everyone is happy :)

I Don't Want to be Anti-Gordon but...

Some of his supporters are getting into my nerves. Emphasizing on some. First, I would like to quote my friend:

"kagagawan yata ng kulturang popular ang pagkakaroon ng avalanche of dick vs gibo supporters sa facebook." - Carmi Alfonso

I think I'm going to agree with this. Biglang dumami yung Gibo and Gordon. I have nothing against that. People should make their choice right? Nakakatuwa nga actually nung una kasi here, you see people taking the risk of casting their vote to candidates who aren't leading in the surveys.

But then I saw some comments from some Gordon supporters. It started in Pat Evangelista's article posted on FB. Don't get me wrong, I'm not a fan of hers, that was the first time I've read something written by Pat. Some comments were so passionate to the point that they bash other people's ability to think for themselves. Making them sound like they're the only intelligent people in this land. That's just so wrong. Some of them speak like Gordon is THE right choice, kumbaga sa math problem, he is THE right answer. Seriously? That's why we have elections people! We have the right and the ability to make a choice. IT'S A CHOICE! So please, don't talk like you have the monopoly of right answers.

There was one comment that struck me most. This supporter points out Singapore as an example, comparing Gordon's style to that of Lee Kuan Yew. I just had have to laugh. Really? You want to compare LKY with Gordon? I don't think that's as easy as you think it is. Do you know your country? Do you know Singapore? Napakalayo naman. Singapore is just a miniscule of the Philippines' land area. We are living in an archipelago, we are over populated. So please don't say Singapore-Philippines period. Wala man lang explanation. See, sometimes that's the problem, people argue without justification. Pft.

Oh well, the race is over. We should just work together and stop calling the Filipinos idiots stupid etc. Sige kayo na matalino. Bleh.

Just Saying

This is a repost of my blog from FB (May 9, 2010)

I'm very excited for this year's elections because it's the first time I'm going to cast my vote. I will vote for Gibo. And before you throw stones at me, I just want to clear, I am not pro-GMA. Well, I don't want to insult you by emphasizing that but just to be sure, you know.

I was actually thinking of Perlas at first, he got me at Probe Profiles. You know, the counter-culture feeling that hey, this is the alternative. It's like going vegetarian when a branch of McDonald's just opened across the street. This brave man with conviction and vision. He lost me on the debates though. Vision? Not quite. I can't say he's that prepared. He's a bureaucrat, yes, a plus over Bro. Eddie I guess. But what about the economy? Plans for the BPO's? Housing? I've heard mostly about agriculture, which is a good thing of course, but I believe he has to have concrete plans about other sectors too.

Then there was Gordon. The man has excellent credentials, volunteer of Red Cross, held executive and appointed positions, very competent and the leading choice of young people I know. (pati yung crush ko, yee!) He just lost me at Head Start. He kept on saying "You people..." "kaya kayo mahirap" blablabla. He's a no nonsense guy but he can't inspire me. And don't get me wrong, I'm not a romantic looking for Noynoy's parent's love for democracy as my inspiration and so on. That he owes it to the Filipino people to run and then he continues on saying "you people" - I just can't vote for him now. Hello nga pala sa mga smuggled cars sa Subic.

Being the agit person that I am, I think mas bagay na suportahan ko si Gordon (This is an inside joke)

But in line with Gibo's positive campaign, I would stop at that shout out and leave the highly quahlified Gordon alone. I don't want to bash him. Again, I still think he's highly qualified for the position.

Gibo got my attention through the debates. First, I want to say that I have faith in his vision and I believe he is highly qualified too.

One answer I could never forget was his answer to the question (not verbatim) "If elected as president, hahabulin nyo ba si GMA sa mga anomalyang ginawa nya?" Everyone said yes with varied "patutsada" I don't even remember a thing because bottom line, it was a yes. Then Gibo says if there's evidence, then take it to the courts, that he is in no position to decide on that matter. Playing safe? Playing GMA's puppet? Not quite. He's just thinking as a president. Maybe he read about the three branches of government, the executive, legislative, and judiciary which are co-equal and independent of each other by the way. Meaning? Yes, according to the constitution of this land, if he wins, he is in no position to dictate the courts of what to do. Yun ang gusto ko. Aside from being qualified, he is someone who knows what a president is. Starts from the basic rules and says whatever is right and not just popular. For all those who said yes, nakakatakot kayo. If you plan to use your powers against GMA, you can use your powers to God knows who as well. I just want a president who doesn't give us false hopes and gets us to vote w/o hating/blaming someone at the same time. Plataporma lang na malinaw.

I want to end this note by saying, I admire and salute people who are voting because they believe in their candidate. I applaud them for not being discouraged by surveys. Hindi po ako natanong sa survey, actually wala pa kong kakilala o kahit kakilala ng kakilala ng kakilala na natanong sa survey. So don't waste your vote, itiman mo ang bilog sa tabi ng pangalan ng kandidatong pinaniniwalaan mo, wag yung leading sa SWS or Pulse Asia. Malay mo, 50% ng boboto sa mga nangunguna sa survey, nagpapadala lang pala sa agos.

Ang mga Huling Kumento

Dahil pawala na ang Grad hype ko, pwede na ako mag blog. Kung tungkol sa Cheer Dance Compet nga sinusulat ko, dapat ito din.

Minsan naiisip ko, hindi rin pala simple ang nakalipas na 5 taon. Ang dami ko ng pinagdaanan. Nag BS Math ako sa UPLB nung 1st year, Pre-Dent sa UPM ng 2nd year, Polsc sa Diliman nung 3rd year hanggang sa napagod na'ko kaka-shift at tinapos ko na.

Nagkaroon na ko ng phase kung saan nag struggle akong kilalanin ang sarili ko, tapos nagkaroon ako ng freedom phase - nagyosi, inuman, mga usapang paglaban sa status quo, etc. Tapos biglang may clique phase, sandamakmak na chismisan, panglalait, tuksuhan. Meron ding anti-social period (matagal to e) - yung wala lang ako kinakausap sa mga kaklase ko tapos hindi ako nagsusuklay, nakapambahay ako lagi, ang luluwag ng suot ko't nakatsinelas pa'ko nung parang gulong, yun bang ako yung tipo ng taong di mo iisiping i-chummy. Nagkaron din ako ng cranky phase - nakakainis lahat ng tao, napaka-corny ng love konsepto lang naman yun, lahat ng nagrerecite nagmamagaling etc. Ewan ko, lately nagka conscious phase naman ako. Tinatanong ko yung mga kaibigan ko lagi "mataba ba ko?" "mukha ba kong tomboy?" "may dumi ba ko sa mukha?" "pangit na ba buhok ko?" "halata bang madumi sapatos ko?".

Hindi ko na rin minsan malaman, ano na ba talaga ako sa mga nabanggit? Wala, lahat, depende sa panahon. Basta ang alam ko, pagkatapos ng 5 taon, masaya ako sa mga naranasan ko. Pagkatapos ng 5 taon, alam kong natuto ako.

Syempre nagpapasalamat ako sa Diyos, sa magulang ko, pamilya ko, mga kaibigan ko, mga guro (lalo na kay Prof. Casambre), kay sered na rin siguro... pero higit sa lahat, nagpapasalamat ako sa sarili ko. Dahil sa lahat ng intra at interpersonal kong problema, sa lahat ng hinanakit ko sa pamilya, sa lahat ng panghihinayang ko sa buhay, sa bawat pangiinsulto sa pagkatao ko, sa lahat ng pagkakataong nasakatan ang puso ko, sa lahat ng pagka-cut at inumang inuna ko, sa lahat ng "agit at nega na energy" at katamaran na dala-dala ko sa aking katawan, sa bawat segundong inisip ko sana maglaho na lang ako, hindi ako nagpatalo. Hindi ako sumuko. Kahit wala na kong data at di pa ko kumakain, kahit namumugto ang mata kong pumapasok sa klase, kahit nauubos ang baon ko sa pagpapa-photocopy, kahit sumasakit ang paa ko sa paglalakad, kahit gutom ako sa klase, o inaantok, kahit bored na bored na ko sa buhay ko, kahit ayaw sakin ng prof o ng mga group mates ko at kahit pa pinagdududahan ko na ang sarili ko, tinapos ko.

Hindi man ako kasing talino at sing galing ng ibang tao, maging kasing yaman ng pinangarap ko, masaya ako.Hindi matatawaran ang under grad experience.

Ok, so unemployed ako. Sabi nga nung Suma ng Ling, welcome sa gubat ng kahirapan!!!

PS nakakalungkot baka wala na'ko ma-post under UP tag :(

When Dark Clouds Surround your Dreamy Mind

If there are many gays and lesbians in our midst, fine! We should respect their rights…But they should not also go around town proclaiming their preferences as if it was a badge of honor…
Gays and lesbians should be happy society tolerates them. They should not abuse society’s doting attitude towards them. - Ramon Tulfo

I read this while browsing tumblr today. It was posted a week ago.

I realized I've been resting for a month now. I eat, sleep, surf the internet, go out for a walk, watch House etc. If I had a list, what's going on in his country was the last item on it. I lived my days relaxed, alone, peaceful. This is how it went until I heard what happened in Maguindanao. Actually, the whole thing was already in the news for 2 days before I really paid attention to it. The details give me goosebumps, the incident itself makes me want to just shut up and feel scared. What the fuck is happening in this country?

I wrote blogs about the presidentiables months ago. I was talking about Villar and Mar when I stopped. Noynoy came into the picture, Chiz then not Chiz, Erap again - there's just so many things that's happening I can't even begin to write them down. It's a goddamn circus.

And now, as I write again, I write about these terrible news that currently flood the people's mind, including mine.

“My wife’s private parts were slashed four times, after which they fired a bullet into it. They speared both of her eyes, shot both her breasts, cut off her feet, fired into her mouth. I could not begin to describe the manner by which they treated her.” — Buluan Vice Mayor Esmael Mangudadatu

How violent can people get? Are we in fucking ancient China? They just buried people for Chrissake it's getting unbelievably disgusting. Is this the democracy they're bragging about?

And now, Tulfo, the oh-so-macho journalist thinks gays and lesbians are trying to abuse society.

Oo nga naman, hayaan nyo na lang yung mga “machong” lalaki mambugbog ng asawa, mam-bully ng anak at kapit-bahay, mambabae. Astig yun! Baka yun ang badge of honor? Tapos gawin natin silang congressman, governor, tapos may private army sila para may maipang-massacre. Nakakadiri kaya mga bading at tomboy compared sa machong lalaki.

Tulfo, you fucking idiot. Have you thought about life? What if one of the victims in the Maguindanao massacre was a young gay/lesbian journalist who haven't lived his/her life because of people like you? People who restrict, who command, who judge. People who say "makuntento ka na lang, tino-tolerate ka na nga gusto mo pa magkaron ng representation". Yup, just limit what other people wants to achieve. Macho ka e, suntukin mo na lang kaya si Danton Remoto para mas astig ka. How can you even belittle gays and lesbians for immorality when fucking straight people can be just as or more immoral than them. Will the COMELEC ban every Ampatuan who plans to run for office? Can they? All they can bully are groups who seek representation. For Chrissake, there's a Marijuana Party in Canada and the US, the Western "idols" of this third world country, and the COMELEC can't even grant a level playing field for gays and lesbians. Yes, not even a chance.

Sometimes, I wish it was that easy to seclude yourself a dream of your life ahead.

Nothing Bad about It

Got an e-mail from mom:

TO ALL PINOY KIDS WHO WERE BORN IN THE 50's, 60's, 70's and early 80's!

First, some of us survived being born to mothers who did not have an OB-Gyne, smoked and/or drank San Miguel Beer or Syoktong, while they carried us. The manghihilot was the cheapest way to deliver babies. Dinala ka ba ng nanay mo sa pediatrician for DPT? While pregnant, they took cold or cough medicine, cortal or medicol, ate isaw, and didn't worry about diabetes or cervical cancer.

Then after all that trauma, our baby cribs were made of hard wood covered with lead-based paints, pati na yung walker (andador)natin, matigas na kahoy or rattan at wala pang gulong.

We had no soft cushy cribs that play music, no disposable diapers (lampin lang), (noon cloth or rattan duyan lang tied to the posts or ceiling, babies fell asleep sa sobrang hilo) and when we rode our bikes, we had no helmets, no kneepads, sometimes wala pang preno yung bisikleta.

Take-out food was limited to Ongpin's pansit or Aling Toyangs pre-cooked ulam in kalderos. No pizza shops, McDonalds, KFC, Subway, Jollibee; and, coffee was just kape hinde ga-mahal as in Starbucks.

As children, we would ride in jeepneys libre pag kandong,hot un-airconditioned buses with wooden seats (yung JD bus na pula), or cars with no airconditioning & no seat belts (ngayon lahat may aircon na)

Riding on the back of a carabao on a breezy summer day was considered a treat. (ngayon hindi na nakakakita ng kalabaw ang mga bata) Did you make your own saranggola and pasted bubog on the strings?

We drank water from the garden hose and NOT from a bottle purchased from 711(minsan straight from the faucet or poso) walang 711 noon, sari-sari store ni Mang Akong to buy sarsi, suntan, RC cola or choco-vim.

We shared one soft drink bottle with four of our friends, and NO ONE actually died from this or contracted hepatitis.
We ate rice with star margarine, pampatangkad daw, took raw eggs straight from the shell, and drank softdrinks with real sugar in it (hindi diet coke), but we weren't sick or overweight kasi nga......

WE WERE ALWAYS OUTSIDE PLAYING!! We would leave home in the morning and play all day, and get back when the streetlights came on. Sarap mag patintero, tumbang preso, habulan at taguan.Tandaan mo ba PIKO, step-no-step- yes, trumpo, garter & mala-ahas sa haba na goma? Kung naulan, jackstones, pick-up sticks or sungka, bahay-bahayan, tinda-tindahan, titser-teacher- an or swimming sa baha or kangkungan.

No one was able to reach us all day (di uso ang cellphone, walang beepers). And yes, we were O.K. Sipol lang ni tatay ang meron noon!

We would spend hours building our wooden trolleys (yung bearing ang gulong) or plywood slides out of scraps and then ride down the street, only to find out we forgot the brakes! After hitting the sidewalk or falling into a canal (sewage channel) a few times, we learned to solve the problem ourselves with our bare & dirty hands .

We did not have Playstations, Nintendo's, X-boxes, no video games at all, no 100 channels on cable, no DVD movies, no surround stereo, no IPOD's, no cellphones, no computers, no Internet, no chat rooms, and no Friendsters, Facebook. MSN etc. ...... ...WE HAD REAL FRIENDS and we went outside to actually talk and play with them! TV viewing was a treat, kilala mo ba si Popeye, Gumby, Betty Boop & followed the bouncing ball in Melody Tunes? That was karaoke then, LOL!
We climbed walls and trees (to get aratiles and catch salagubang & tutubi - tied them on the neck with a string), fell out of trees, got cut or "bukol", broke bones and teeth and there were no stupid lawsuits from these accidents. The only rubbing we get is from our friends with the words..masakit ba ? pero pag galit yung kalaro mo,,,,ang sasabihin sa iyo..beh buti nga !

We played marbles (jolens) in the dirt , washed our hands just a little and ate dirty ice cream, fish balls & inihaw na baga. We were not afraid of getting sick or germs in our stomachs.

We had to live with homemade guns, gawa sa kahoy, tinali ng rubberband , sumpit , tirador at kung ano ano pa na puedeng makasakitan, pero masaya pa rin ang lahat. We made up games with sticks (syatong), and cans (tumbang preso) and although we were told they were dangerous, wala naman tayong binulag o napatay... paminsan minsan may nabubukulan lang.

We walked a lot, rode bikes, or took tricycles to a friend's house and knocked on the door or rang the bell, or just yelled for them to jump out the window!

Mini basketball teams had tryouts and not everyone made to the team. Those who didn't pass had to learn to deal with the disappointment. Wala iyang mga childhood depression at damaged self esteem ek-ek na yan. Ang pikon, talo.

Ang magulang ay nandoon lang para tingnan kung ayos lang ang mga bata, hindi para makialam at makipag-away sa ibang parents.

That generation of ours has produced some of the best risk-takers, problem solvers, creative thinkers and successful professionals ever! They are the CEO's, Engineers, Doctors and Military Generals of today.

The past 50 years have been an explosion of innovation and new ideas..

We had failure, success, and responsibility. We learned from our mistakes the hard way.
You might want to share this with others who've had the luck to grow up as real kids. We were lucky indeed.

And if you like, forward it to your kids too, so they will know how brave their parents were.

PS - The big letters are because your eyes may not be able to read this if they were typed any smaller (at your age!)




I imagine how it's like in the old days and I feel some envy. I love the past - the history, the places, the look, the style, the ideas, the situation, people's motivations, people's experiences.

I always wonder what it feels like to fight for something, fight for a cause. I wonder how it was when life was simple and complicated meant real complication, when different was really different and eccentric was not picked up in the internet.

I shout "Bravo!" to the 50's. 60's, 70's, even the 80's. All the things that happened when I was not even a plan were and are awesome.

It's 2009. Don't you think that the mothers and fathers today are the parents of the kids who's scared of catching hepatitis on isaw, who's paranoid about how dangerous it is outside their homes that they want their kids locked up with video games; aren't they the parents who do not teach their kids how to make kites?

Because it's kind of cliche for me. Mom - I love her the most but she's human. She and my dad and other parents out there are contradictions, just like all the young kids are.

I mean, she doesn't want me out of the house after school, doesn't want me to stay long after class etc. I could have been a real kid too. I could've learned to ride a bike if they weren't so scared to let me. All the real kids from 20's, 50's, 60's and 70's in our home didn't think we had to be real kids. Other kids could be bad influence, streets were scary, playing was unnecessary.

Yes, their generation produced the best risk-takers, problem solvers, creative thinkers and successful professionals; the CEO's, engineers, doctors and military generals of today. And guess what, when they retire and choose to relax, we will take over. We will produce the best as well. :D