The Girls from Taft

Ops. No, they aren't from DLSU. They're UP Manila kids! I'm pretty much proud of these girls. They have gone a long way and, wait for it, they're still alive!

I don't know where and when it actually started. We just had a thread where we talked about having a get together. It got postponed a few timesbut we managed to set a date. Much to my demise, they wanted it on a Wednesday, after reg. And who am I to object? I'm the only one working - I was out numbered. Good thing I got my way into convincing them to have dinner at Makati. Meeting up at MOA on a Wednesday night was just pure madness. There was no way on Earth I could pull that one off.

So, I basically sprinted to the bus stop as soon as I got out of the office. I was so giddy about it I didn't even care if my clothes were put together decently.

I came early. Earliest actually. The rain has made it difficult for them to avoid heavy traffic and there were last minute delays and whatever. I was almost pissed. (Why is it that when we plan on seeing each other, the skies won't fail to turn grumpy?)

I went to All Flip Flops at Glorietta and found out that they had Havs Explorers of size 35s in 4 different colors. Ugh. That was when I got really pissed and stormed off back to Greenbelt like a furious Panda.

After so much time waiting and torturing myself on looking for shoes, half of the girls came!

Christine, I, Shane and Bari boy

They did not want to suggest a place and I was dead serious of being hungry so without even thinking, we just went in for some Mexican food. (I like Mexican Express better than this. I don't even know if I remember the restaurant's name right. I think it was Baja?)

Nina and Karina soon arrived. Oh how I missed these two! They were the first two close friends I had at UPM. I think, they're still the closest ones I got there plus Bari.

Bari then commented, out of the blue while the three of us were laughing about some random memory, that the "Mean Girls" were back together. I winced, not being used to be associated with such words and the thought of attaching my name to a famous mainstream bitch movie I didn't even get to watch up to now. I don't think I remember them referring us as that way back circa 2007. Haha but that had made my heart melt a bit. I remember how close we were, we were constantly laughing and gossiping like high school girls. We usually took the lead at throwing random insults to random people like it was just part of our day. We constantly teased friends and made fun of each other.

So many things have changed, Skinny got a boyfriend and is now the president of the Dent council. (what a shocking shocker! hahaha) and Nins have Mia now, she's so adorable! Yet, things seemed to be just the same. It was still fun hanging out with them, no dead air, no awkwardness whatsoever. :)

Hmm, ok so before I get all mopey and stuff. We headed out to get some gelato. Yay! Dessert is my favorite part of pigging out.

After having mediocre Mexican food

Gelato outside Gelatone. (Yeah, cause outside, there's no such thing as service charge!)

We got all kinds of gelato, and with "all kinds" I mean different kinds for us to taste. lol Karina had even tasted so much of other people's gelato, she barely touched hers! Joy was on a taste test feast with the ice cream boy (that's not supposed to sound naughty) and settled for the one with a flavor of Mango and Bacardi. How innocent of her haha

I was raining the whole night. I thought I'd be stuck at Makati. Im never good at commuting in that area. Good thing Pam saved me and I got in a van before it hit midnight. That was so exhausting but I guess, it was worth the effort :)

Thanks to Gio for taking this picture

We suggested to do this more often. Ha! I just don't know if that's possible but we already had the next pig out session planned out. :)

I kind of remembered the blog "Nostalgia Manila" while typing this whole thing :p

Not Just Another Sunday

I'm savouring this moment. I don't know why. I feel like I'm holding on to something. I didn't know holidays and long weekends bring people's emotional side. Haha. Lord, please let me endure the next weeks and months :( Things are getting harder and harder for me to tolerate.

I remember there was a time when I used to hate Sundays. Like after our grocery routine, I feel so bored and drained. I feel like there's nothing else to do blahblah. It was kind of "depressing" I really don't know why. Now, I just realized, after those Sundays were whole weeks of learning in school with friends. It was wonderful.

:)

It's been a great week!

Tue: Had dinner with Carmi and Pam. Went to Taytay to visit Carmi's mom. Got her things from Kuya Bongit's shop and transferred them to Pma's place. First motorcycle ride! (from Taytay to Cainta junction)

Wed: Chicken all you can at Max's with my family! Plus late night expo hang out with N.

Fri: Dinner at Cibola. Erika Kevin Fiona Carmi Zion Pam Pao Joy Neka Grace. Just like the old times :)

May I emphasize? I LOVE TODAY.

Ang mga Huling Kumento

Dahil pawala na ang Grad hype ko, pwede na ako mag blog. Kung tungkol sa Cheer Dance Compet nga sinusulat ko, dapat ito din.

Minsan naiisip ko, hindi rin pala simple ang nakalipas na 5 taon. Ang dami ko ng pinagdaanan. Nag BS Math ako sa UPLB nung 1st year, Pre-Dent sa UPM ng 2nd year, Polsc sa Diliman nung 3rd year hanggang sa napagod na'ko kaka-shift at tinapos ko na.

Nagkaroon na ko ng phase kung saan nag struggle akong kilalanin ang sarili ko, tapos nagkaroon ako ng freedom phase - nagyosi, inuman, mga usapang paglaban sa status quo, etc. Tapos biglang may clique phase, sandamakmak na chismisan, panglalait, tuksuhan. Meron ding anti-social period (matagal to e) - yung wala lang ako kinakausap sa mga kaklase ko tapos hindi ako nagsusuklay, nakapambahay ako lagi, ang luluwag ng suot ko't nakatsinelas pa'ko nung parang gulong, yun bang ako yung tipo ng taong di mo iisiping i-chummy. Nagkaron din ako ng cranky phase - nakakainis lahat ng tao, napaka-corny ng love konsepto lang naman yun, lahat ng nagrerecite nagmamagaling etc. Ewan ko, lately nagka conscious phase naman ako. Tinatanong ko yung mga kaibigan ko lagi "mataba ba ko?" "mukha ba kong tomboy?" "may dumi ba ko sa mukha?" "pangit na ba buhok ko?" "halata bang madumi sapatos ko?".

Hindi ko na rin minsan malaman, ano na ba talaga ako sa mga nabanggit? Wala, lahat, depende sa panahon. Basta ang alam ko, pagkatapos ng 5 taon, masaya ako sa mga naranasan ko. Pagkatapos ng 5 taon, alam kong natuto ako.

Syempre nagpapasalamat ako sa Diyos, sa magulang ko, pamilya ko, mga kaibigan ko, mga guro (lalo na kay Prof. Casambre), kay sered na rin siguro... pero higit sa lahat, nagpapasalamat ako sa sarili ko. Dahil sa lahat ng intra at interpersonal kong problema, sa lahat ng hinanakit ko sa pamilya, sa lahat ng panghihinayang ko sa buhay, sa bawat pangiinsulto sa pagkatao ko, sa lahat ng pagkakataong nasakatan ang puso ko, sa lahat ng pagka-cut at inumang inuna ko, sa lahat ng "agit at nega na energy" at katamaran na dala-dala ko sa aking katawan, sa bawat segundong inisip ko sana maglaho na lang ako, hindi ako nagpatalo. Hindi ako sumuko. Kahit wala na kong data at di pa ko kumakain, kahit namumugto ang mata kong pumapasok sa klase, kahit nauubos ang baon ko sa pagpapa-photocopy, kahit sumasakit ang paa ko sa paglalakad, kahit gutom ako sa klase, o inaantok, kahit bored na bored na ko sa buhay ko, kahit ayaw sakin ng prof o ng mga group mates ko at kahit pa pinagdududahan ko na ang sarili ko, tinapos ko.

Hindi man ako kasing talino at sing galing ng ibang tao, maging kasing yaman ng pinangarap ko, masaya ako.Hindi matatawaran ang under grad experience.

Ok, so unemployed ako. Sabi nga nung Suma ng Ling, welcome sa gubat ng kahirapan!!!

PS nakakalungkot baka wala na'ko ma-post under UP tag :(

Pictures from 12/22/09 <3

Near that Division

Well, what can I say? Weeks after my last entry, many things have changed. I'm at home today, no classes. I got my 199 grade already. I spared this blog from the rants of making and revising 199. I feel relieved actually.

I'm very near to that point where I'm going to say "I'm finally graduating" 199 was my biggest fear and I survived that course. Now I'm just waiting for Econ. and fixing papers. I'm thinking of how it feels to have no rant posts under the UP tag. I feel sadness.

I believe I'm going to worry about new things now. There are times in your life that you love so much and it hurts you to leave them all behind, but the choice to stay will not make you happy either. So it's better to move on.

BTW, I'm a registered voter already.

I want to enjoy these times. I want to mark an end, and a beginning. :)

The Letter X

I was sitting on a chair in FC 3145 during my 199 class. We were talking about research design that afternoon. My professor, the one I look up to the most, was discussing pseudo-experimental tests.

It was like a movie scene. I'm sitting on my chair; my professor discussing the variables and as she traces the letter x into thin air, trying to make us comprehend the works of a researcher, her voice fades. The view moves from the other side of the room, still focused on the her as she eagerly explains things. I begin to speak in my mind.

I have to remember this moment. When I graduate (and I hope I do), I would miss this. The feeling of having something more to learn and having someone to teach you and expecting he or she is the best and feeling it's okay to commit mistakes. I will miss this. :)

Is it too Early to Feel Nostalgic?

Because I have a bad feeling.

My head feels light. Really. I am not in a good state. I found myself nodding in class a while ago without even processing the words that enter my ears. Yes, I am just pissed and tired of this kind of things. I'm not failing. I just have to re-focus my study. I just have to find new materials. I just have to start again; not from zero, maybe from 0.5 (or whatever positive integer). Seriously, I wanted to disappear at that moment, or be hit by a car, or go crazy. This is the only thing I have now. I can't fail. This is the only thing I can work on.

My professor sent an e-mail. I do not know if it is out of compassion or just an act to make my life even more difficult. I shall find myself tomorrow. I shall find myself... in the library.

CDC Fun!

(Woot)

Was dead tired last night because of the CDC.

First of all, the set of winners:
Champion: FEU
1st Runner Up: ADMU
2nd Runner Up: UP PEP SQUAD!

Second, the comments:

UP's performance was way better last year - that performance gave (and gives) me goosebumps. The colors this year were very neutral, the crowd was asked to wear white. (I wore my old white spandex shirt, ugh it was so tiny) The routines did not amazed me much. But good job to the Maroons! Still managed to be on the third spot :p

Third, the micro story.

We met at almost 2pm. From Gen. Ad., we jumped to Upper B (the half part of the Gen. Ad. area saw me struggling lol.) then after UP's performance we jumped back to Gen. Ad. near DLSU where the drums or the drummers smelled like wet feet. Ew. Mon was there so yes, expect the banners. Come awarding time, most of us were already convinced that the Maroons would not bring home the bacon. And there, it was so quick that Boom Gonzales shouted "The UP Pep Squad!" and all of us were quite sad but immediately held our spirits high by giving our pep a proud applause. It was a good performance. I think it was the best part of this year's CDC for the Maroons. There were no complaints, just praises and support for our pep. :)

On the other hand, the tigers were rejoicing and jeering with the "buti nga" agenda. We were thinking "baka nga bumawi ang gawi" But when the 1st Runner Up was announced, they went silent. The Ateneo Pep won! I wasn't able to watch their performance because we were busy discussing UP routines. I watched it when I went home last night, in my opinion, they deserve it! I must say I smiled and even laughed while watching. They were cute and energetic. Nice dance music and steps. I actually enjoyed the moon walk and the Clocks part. I read from a friend's post: "Anong meron sa skirt na parang Jap paper?" I wasn't able to notice that. All I know is that when Ateneo says cheer dance, they mean short skirts for their girls. Woot! XD

So there, back to the awarding. We felt that the tigers were very nervous. I bet they were expecting FEU but when ADMU came up, they felt they were in trouble (well, just a guess. I am not a tiger to know it felt lol). The UP crowd, the enormous UP crowd, started shouting "FEU! FEU!" We were all laughing and joined the cheer for the tamaraws. It was evident, their routine was clean! I just didn't like the sarimanok much, the penguin dance last year was funnier lol. And there was something in their routine that UP did last year. I do not know what it's called but it was one of my favorite step/stunt of our pep last year. Needless to say, they deserve it.

Just to "alaska" a little. The banner "Amin ang pamantayan" or "Kami ang pamantayan" (I don't really remember the exact words) of UST was ugh, irrelevant? Haha. I think it was sad for them not to bring home anything after all the expectations of winning this year. I have to commend them though, maybe having learned from other schools (including UP of course), to have a theme in their dance. Last year they wore white and yellow, did their routines without even having a theme. Like when you think of UST, you can't associate a word to identify their routine. This year, they were the Egyptians. The Egyptian hands move was nice I must say.

Which reminds me, I told friends that UP's theme was not evident this year. I guess it's because it was more of UP symbols - the Ikot jeep (that UE had as their props as well, maybe called the UE-kot lol), and the Sablay. It was not evident to the audience. I mean all the other 7 universities most probably didn't just get it. because it was internal for UP. I recall a friend's classmate from another school was laughing at a professor who wore a Sablay during their graduation rights because she thought it was a sash. Maybe next year, there'll be a nicer theme. Next year? I won't be at UP anymore (or so I think? lol)

CDC na naman! :))

CDC today! I hope I get in on time. I realized I've watched the CDC for 4 years now. The only exemption was on 2006. I love the UP crowd during the Cheer Dance Competition. The General Admission area is the unwanted part of the dome during concerts and other events but it's the most fun and exciting place during UAAP's CDC. :D

I do hope we would have the same (or more) fun this year.

UP FIGHT! :)

Tamang Tama Lang!

Tamang TK lang!!! (woot)

It's Like Yin and Yang

Today was a good day!

When I try to recall today's events, I can say it was a balance of good and bad.

I got a 2.5, 3 and 4 for my thesis proposal. What a way to start the day right?

I reflected a bit at the library then decided to drop by Miko's room just for a short conversation. After all, I haven't seen her for days, not even talked to her through text. We had a pleasant, a little funny and "comforting" conversation as usual. (She said "ang ganda/sexy mo today...syempre pinapaganda ko lang pakiramdam mo" I told that to Erika and she said "Ganon talaga si Miko no? May pagka-blunt." And we both laughed!)

Erika, Thesa, Pam and I decided to have lunch at Philcoa. Jollibee! I ordered chicken and spaghetti as usual. Thesa ordered a feast! Burger steak with rice, mushroom soup, and yes, chicken and spaghetti too! I always enjoy having lunch with friends. It's fun, full of conversations of just about anything, and very light (or viri viri light in our acquired gay language).

Pam was sitting beside the window. We noticed she was making faces with a kid outside. She suddenly blurted "Bilhan ko kaya sya ng spaghetti?" I, was a little shocked. Yes, she gives coins to street kids, gave 20php to the scholar from Antipolo who sells 60php worth of ballpen and the likes; but it was a bit different buying food for a street kid. It's not like you give them something you can't finish or giving your extra sandwich, it just felt different. She called the little girl and they went to the counter together. Pam ushered the kid to the next table and the girl shyly started to eat her spaghetti (and mushroom soup from Thesa). Thesa said "Naiiyak naman ako kay Pam, na-touch ako." We laughed but yes, I, myself was touched as well. I asked Pam after, "French fries pa?" She just replied "Di na, wala na kong anju (money) haha"

I was amazed. I have never done that. I am usually apathetic to street kids. And if sympathetic, hanggang dun na lang yun. I am not generous to strangers. I wish I could be a more giving person. I will try!

We went back to U.P. at around 1:30 p.m. Since I was an hour early for my 193 class, I dropped by Antas and decided to buy a book: "Anne Frank: The Diary of a Young Girl". It was just 100php; not bad for a bored person like me.

Pam texted me at around 3:30 p.m. She said they went with Joy to the pier. I quickly said I wanted to come. Too bad they were already at Taft Ave. I suddenly felt that I shouldn't have come to class. (haha) I was a little disappointed. I really wanted to come and see the pier (and you know, it's Manila!) Then I thought I really wanted a Mudslide (I've been telling Pam and Thesa that I wanted to drink but Ministop Philcoa didn't have any).

After class, I asked Miko to drink with me and that I particularly wanted to drink a Mudslide. She had to meet Ana though. Good thing Erika went with me and suggested to go to technohub. I bought a Mudshake, not a Mudslide (what's the difference btw?) and she ordered her coffee at CBTL. Again, it was light. I finished my drink and so did she. We talked about all sorts of things again. More light this time, nothing about current events and politics. It was fun!

I tried to wait for the kids from the pier but I felt so tired. Erika left and I sat there, sleepy, at CBTL. I decided to go home.

It's breezy!

Now I'm off to read Anne Frank again. Ciao!

It's Another Friday!

My 199 paper was crap. I slept early last night because I wasn’t feeling well. I started to do the methodological insights just this morning. I was able to write a half page methodology. *%$&#%&(**(&$# she’s going to have an impression that I’m not taking things seriously. What a shame! My dad asked me “Kelan graduation mo, sa October?” suddenly I remembered my conversation with Ayee. I shouldn’t have told people I was about to graduate this sem. If I manage to pass 199, then it’ll just be a surprise and if I don’t, well they wouldn’t be that disappointed. Sayang! Me and my stupid mouth. Tsk. Now I’m anxious.

Anyway, I asked Ate Zen if we have class, she said we do. I wasn't able to go ro Hub. :|

After class, I went straight to C.M.C. to meet Miko. Pam came - you know what's next: FOOD! Haha we were thinking of where to eat and we went around to invite friends. Thesa was missing in action, Joy had a shoot, Neka has to meet her prof for her thesis consulatation. At least we managed to bully Carmi to come with us. HAHA.

We talked about a hypothetical situation: what if your girlfriend's brain dead and you want to break up with her?

We had different views. After discussing this I thought, well at least you're safe.

Ate Chicken Alfredo! Tagal ko ng di naka-kain nun ha. YUM! Thank God I can now chew chicken :D

LIGHT! Sakto lang sa Friday.

Photo: http://www.flickr.com/photos/briankingong/3356451848/

My Teeth Cleaned Before Last Supper

Watched Last Supper No. 3, Best Film for 2009's Cinemalaya. Some may argue that it wasn't realistic; but it was. The story itself is a "normal" thing in the Philippine justice system. The comedy parts like when Wilson ran after the vehicle just to get a ride, the translation of testimonies by witnesses etc. of course, are not realistic but what do you expect? Pelikula yun e.

I really enjoyed watching it because I felt that I could relate to the story. Not because I filed a case or I was sued but because that was what we were required to observe in POLSC 153 last sem. I remember going to QC City Hall every now and then to observe court trials, inquests, prelimenary investigations, interview PAO lawyer etc. I can say I have learned much in that subject. Thanks to Prof. Baylon!

Oh! Before I forget, I went to the dentist before watching the film. What a great surprise, I am now separated to my molar bonds! (woot) Every time I visit my dentist, I wonder when will those bonds leave my life? Haha well, good thing it finally happened today. After 3 years, I'm semi-free! :))


Photo: (tooth) http://www.flickr.com/photos/abductos/2323252548/

Breezy Friday

Having slept for about 10 hours on a Thursday night meant not being able to re-read the articles for my 199 exam the next day.

I prepared for school and put on one of my favorite button down shirts (50php from Katipunan ukay-ukay) and my favorite pants (I realized it's my favorite just now).

No texts except from Miko's invite to hangout at FC which she canceled about an hour later. I thought "sayang naman suot ko, sayang naman it's a Friday."

So then after my exam, I texted some people. As usual Pam replied. Hurrah! I was about to go to CMC when someone from the mob called me. It was VJ and Ralph, Pao's orgmates. They called me to join the Rally - No to ConAss, Oust Gloria. I went. It was embarrassing to decline VJs invitation, I have been hitching to Robinson's for days. Haha. They were very perky, it made the rally fun somehow.

Rallies - on my first year in Diliman, I was a little inclined and sympathetic to these movements. Part of which Pao was responsible, part of it maybe was caused by my idealism and another part is Silay. Yes, the one I stalked with the help of Ja that brought us to the Interfaith Rally at Ayala Ave. last year.

However, as time passed, I felt distant to these things. Partly because there was this annoying activist that spoke of rallies every time she sees me, partly because the political science approach is more conservative (for the lack of a better, shorter word) and partly because I feel that the "Left's" arguments are not that well-organized.

So there, I felt like a big poser. Every time cameras would be near our spot I bowed down pretending to use my phone. I do not want to think I have lost my idealism. I just do not see myself in this kind of movement. I just do not get why Gloria should be ousted when she has a few months left. I do not mean to promote apathy, I just think it's no longer logical to ask for that. Political instability might even bring the economy to a worse position. Besides, this is power politics. But not at its worst because we are not in Myanmar. The majority of the population is poor but the middle class is listening to their ipods, drinking coffee at Katipunan Ave., thinking of exams for next week, thinking of basketball games, parties, drinking sessions, sex, typing their blogs. What is there to really complain about? We could all recognize poverty but do not feel the extent of it. We are not in the Martial Law era. How do you arouse activism these days? I do not know. I do not have the heart of an activist. Maybe shame on me. But it's a bigger shame to join without believing a cause then go on with life after college to join the other side of the spectrum.

Anyway, why is it a breezy Friday? After the mob, Pam, Joy and I went to eat. Bucket meal! Haha after more than a month of inviting people to feast on a bucket meal, here we are at last! ok, so after eating we went to Joy's place to do some fixing in her unit. Ice came and they talked about audition stuff while Pam and I play Exhaust. We tried to watch a pirated copy of "The Proposal". Fail! We ended up watching Friends. After 2 episodes, Pam and I left.

It was really light and calm and fun but not exagerated or life-altering. It was breezy.

But then when I came home, I began to think of things again. Stupid things. And I ended up doing like what Monica did. Negate the breezy feel. It's quite funny when I think of it. Its still quite sad though. I don't know. Maybe when we zoom in this picture to 10 years from now, this will just be the unnoticed background.

Yadayada

photo:http://www.flickr.com/photos/johnparaguya/2775088608/