I feel extremely unhappy this weekend. Last Monday I decided not to go to work because
This is getting serious. I don't know how long I could hold up for that fucking job you know? I've waited. And well, I thought I would't have to anymore cause it feels like the deal has been forgotten. I was actually planning to file my resignation last week, or this week at the latest. I even tol a few friends how excited and nervous I am. Then it came again, oh my god, the deal is still freakin on. I know I agreed to this and I am genuinely happy to grand a friend a favor but, this is becoming too much. I mean if thisjob aint a bitch at all I think I could even wait longer but hell it's kinda killing me. Like every time I wake up I expect it to be a bad day unless it's a Friday or Saturday. This week, I had to bring home some papers to finish them at home. I just want my weekend to be peaceful and happy and the thought of work ruins it. In addition, I keep on looking forward to Fridays only since that means not having to go to work the next day. That's just lame! (Oh I look forward to Wednesdays too because new eps of Glee come out here on Wednesdays but that's even a lamer reason. Plus, it's already the finale this week so in reality, I have to scratch Wednesday too.) I feel like my life is being cut short because I'm on autopilot staring Sunday night to Thursday night. I can't even wake up on a Sunday happy.The only thing that is good about my job is the friendships I've built with my co-workers.
Like when someone tells me I'm lucky that given the high rate of unemployment these days, I have a job, I want to punch him/her in the face.
Most of all, I don't want to suck at work. I may hate it but I don't want to be inefficient. But given how I feel about this job and given the work load that's like close to hell, I don't really know if I can do this smoothly.
I just want to get out and fix my life, explore other possibilities. I want to have time to think. I just pray everything falls into place. I've been waiting for the right time. I don't know how long I could manage to to go all AWOL.
