I am puzzled about how I feel and what I should do. It begins to give me goosebumps when I say the word "love". I guess I over used it. So maybe I should think of another word to replace it. How about влюбленность? Ok that's better.
I влюбленность N but there's just so many issues involved in our relationship. It's stressful to think "Why is she not texting me?" "Why does she want to leave?" "What if we settled things weeks ago?" "What if we understood each other?" "What could have happened if she did exactly what was agreed upon?" "What could have happened if I listened?"
I am hopeful but sad and angry. Why should I feel all sorts of things when all I wanted was peace of mind, security and влюбленность?
I just want things to be easy and normal. I just fucking want to go back to being dreamy and secured. That's all. I do not want anything that would arouse suspicion. I want things clear. I want things right. I want things simple. влюбленность, as cheesy as it sounds (not this time cause I know we both can't pronounce that) is what I want. OK? Ayoko na ng maraming dahilan at arte.
photo: http://www.flickr.com/photos/giovannijl-s_photohut/1293269392/
